It had to happen eventually
by Leftomaniac
Summary: Me, Ztarlight, Invader Bast, and Invader Zaifae do the SI thing. It's finished, the fic that spanned over three months is finished. Yay.
1. The Nightmare Begins.

Deep within the bowels of a basementless, modest home in the mean streets of Chicago's surrounding suburbs, a fifteen-year-old-girl who looked more like she was eleven or twelve lay sprawled out on her bed, a book in front of her.  
  
"In fact what he was really looking for when he stared distractedly into the sky, was any kind of flying saucer at all. The reason he said green was that green was the traditional space livery of the Betelgeuse trading scouts. Ford Prefect was desperate that any flying saucer at all would arrive soon because fifteen years was a long time to be stranded anywhere, pariculaly somewhere as mind-bogglingly dull as Earth."  
  
"Don't I know it." The small girl said with a sigh. She glanced around her room. It was incredibly wierd-looking, a fact she was so proud of she was willing to waste precious (*cough*) fanfic time describing it. The bed was placed squarely in the center, headboard facing the wall next to the door. Glass bottles filled with colored water placed in front of a light fixture bathed everything in green light. The walls were plastered with Zionist posters, and surrealist drawings and paintings she had made. Additionaly, George Carlin quotes such as "Sometimes I can't recall my mental blocks, so I try not to think about it." and "Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it's Frito-Lay." were written in charcoal pencil. Recently, such quotes as "You! Obey the fist!" and "I love you cold unfeeling robot arm!" had been added, but we'll get to that later. Tucked in a corner behind her dresser was a desk covered with hand-painted chinese characters, which contianed several Southern-California reminicient objects as a mini-Zen garden and a tranquility fountian. Cardboard stars dangled from a space-themed blanket hung over her bed. Colored Yarn hung from the ceiling.   
  
Most importantly, books were piled everywhere. Next to her bed, under her umbrella, up against the walls, supporting her "I brake for Daleks" bumper sticker (A/N: I REALLY have a bumper sticker like that! It's so cool!) on top of her CD player, ... you get the idea. The collection was compleated on a large bookcase in the hallway. Skimming the titles such as: "The Demolished Man", "The Martian Cronicles" "Short Trips- a book of Dr. Who fanfiction" and "The Complete Works of Issac Assimov, Vol. I" you would instantly notice a pattern. Some were horror, or non-fiction, but the vast majority were sci-fi. Yes, she was without a doubt a sci-fi nerd, and dat's da way she liked it. She closed the incredibly dog-eared "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and returned it to it's place. She then flooped back down on her navy-blue bed, her unkempt blond hair falling over her makeup-free face once again. She began repetitivly tracing over the pen-tattos she has on her arms. She knew the root of this sci-fi obsession, though she could never say it out loud.  
  
She wanted to be an alien.  
  
Or, she wanted to meet an alien, or she wanted SOMETHING anything that could get her out of this dull, repetive rut she was in. She whirled her arms around melodramaticaly, "My life is a black pit of blackness!!" She yelled. (A/N: Anne Gwish referance!) "CryingChild!" came a voice, "I made coffee!" "Ooh, coffee!" she said running off.   
  
Minutes later, she came back, a huge, 24-ounce mug of coffee in her hand. "Mmm, good coffee," she said, "but is it BOILING HOT???" (A/N: Radiskull and Devi Doll referance! *pause* Wadaya MEAN you don't know who Radiskull and Devil Doll are????) Setting her coffee down next to her Dali clock, she shuffled through he closet, looking for a peice of her newest and most insatiable obsession. Grinning, she pulled out issue three of Johnny The Homocidal Maniac. Her dad was hogging the computer and Zim wouldn't be on for another four hours, so she must get her Jhonen fix this way.   
  
She once again thanked whatever higher power there may be that she had stumbled on to this treasure trove of genius. It had all started as she was flipping through the channels one day. At this time, she had never heard of Jhonen Vasquez, and she hated (still does) Nickelodian. But through an amazing coicidence she had clicked to Nickelodian just as the opening for the Zim premire had started. After reading the title, and seeing the standered green-guys-with-antenne style aliens, she decided to stay and make fun of it. Minutes later, she knew she needed more more MORE. And so it began...   
  
----About four hours later----  
  
She stared at the screen expectantly, her face so close a casual observer would wonder if she could make out anything at all. She watched with a mixture of joy and terror. What if Nick screwed up again? What if there was no Zim tonight? What if-- she shuddered --horrors unimaginable, what if those rumors about Zim being canceled were... true? (A/N: I'm writing THIS part friday morning, I'm in so much suspense!) She began mentaly writing the threataning e-mail she would send to Nick. The seconds ticked by... 7:56... she bit her fingernails... 7:57... she turned the volume up as high at it would go... 7:58... she turned it down a little as her mom yelled at her... 7:59... she held her breath.... finally... eight o'clock! The screen went blank ever so breifly as the commercial ended... and.........  
  
"TIM-me is an AVE-rage kid, who NO-one unDERstands!" (A/N: I sure hope this dosen't happen!)  
  
"ARrrrRRRrrrhhHhggggG!" she balled her fists, and pressed them to the sides of her head. "No, dammit! I can't take it anymore! Damn IT Damn IT DAMMIT!" she screamed, punctuating the last 'dammit' with a right hook to a poor, innocent bunny doll that sat on top of the television. Fortunatly for Mr. Bun-bun, the angle at which she was standing ruined her aim so that her fist missed him entirely... going instead through the TV screen. Her ranting stopped. Her already-bulging eyes grew impossibly wider. "Oh.... oh crap, ohcrapohcrap." she said, a look of horror on her face. Her fist had gone right throught the screen, glass was everywhere, and some circutry had clearly been damaged. Her hand was also bleeding pretty badly, but at the moment that was the least of her worries. "Oh CRAP, oh crappitycrapcrapshitfuckpoo. My parents are going to KILL me, my GAWD, I'll be grounded for MONTHS, I'll have to take anger-managment courses, I'll have to clean poop-encrusted toilets to pay for it... I am SO dead." She felt her stomach tighten, she looked away from the damaged boob tube. With her head turned and her eyes shut tight, she didn't see the electrical charge engulf her hand...  
  
------  
  
She woke up. She felt the normal, groggy morning amniesia she always feels, but there was also something she knew she should be remembering... something important. "Oh yeah, the whole TV punchy thing." She flexed her hand, and , surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all. She propped herself up on the bed and waved her hand in front of her face. Undamaged. Yet, there was something wrong with it, something she couldn't qute place. The pen tattos looked the same,-- didn't they usually wear off overnight? -- the wristwatch that rarely left her was still there... /Wait a minute../ she thought, /Little hairs!/ The little bitty hairs that people have on their arms were gone! /And pores, my skin has no pores! No knuckles either! What the hell?/ She stared at her arm in wonderment. Her skin was flawless, one even color throughout it's entire length. And had it always been that pale? The more she looked at it, the weirder it seemed. And there was... STUFF on either side of it, no matter how hard she rubbed it, it wouldn't come off. It almost looked like... OUTLINES! There were outlines on her arm! "Ahhhhhhhh!" she screamed, "Get 'em OFF! Get 'em OFF! Get 'em OFFFFFFFFFFF!" She ran around her room, screaming and waving her arm in circles for about twenty minutes, before collapsing in an asphyxiated heap.  
  
She looked at her arm, the outlines were still there, clearly she couldn't outrun them. "Eep!" she said. She looked around her room, it looked the same, only... less detailed. And, sorta... flat. She paused, considering this. She didn't have a mirror in her room, so she ran into the bathroom across the hall. As she looked into the big 'ol mirror that covered, about 80% of the bathroom wall, she felt her hair actually stand on end, for the first time in her life.   
  
She had changed. A lot.  
  
Her head was MUCH bigger, disproportionately so, even. Her eyes were bigger too, and mostly white. Her hair no longer hung in messy, individual strands, but in huge, messy locks. Her fingers were pointy and had no nails. /My gawd,/ she thought... /I'm been turned into a Jhonen Vasquez drawing! SWEEEEET! But weird, very wierd, am I having a fandream?/ She returned her gaze to the mirror.  
  
She was wearing a dark green shirt, black jeans, her Star of David necklace, and cool black boots that she had never owned. Noticing this gave her an idea, and she ran to her room and opened her dresser drawers. Sure enough, they were filled with identical green shirts and black jeans. /I knew it, down to last detail./ she thought, /My dreams are NEVER this detailed... so... what's the most sane, logical explanation for this?/ she thought for a moment. "Of course! When I punched the TV, rather than simply breaking like any other TV would do, my tough and determined television became a portal into Zimworld! And, even though being shoved through a television would normally leave a big 'ol boo-boo, I was simply turned into a cartoon, it makes perfect sense!" She grinned wide, proud of her logical prowess. Her grin faded. "Hmm, so, until further notice, I'm a character in Invader Zim, I have no way of knowing how to get home, and I'm trapped in Jhonen's twisted world where any number of horrible things can happen to me. SQUEEEEE! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! THIS ROCKS! THIS ROCKS!" She did a happy little dance with lots of twirls, and then the chapter ended.  
  



	2. Skool.

Yippeeeeeeee! Zim wasn't cancled! *does the Zim-wasn't-canceled dance.* I didn't really think it would be, but I'm releived all the same. WHAT an cool episode! Zim and Dib teaming up briefly AND Gaz getting a whole story to herself, very cool. I swear, after seeing NO Zim one week, and half-a-rerun the next I NEEDED that fix. Ohh, and I LOOOOOVED it so much when Zim goes "Is this a fair fight? This 'moose', is it carrying any projectile weapons?" Zim ROCKS! Did anyone else catch the referance to "The Fly"? Hmm, there was something I was doing... oh yeah, the fic. Hey I just realized I forgot to put a disclaimer on chapter 1! oh well, I own nothing.   
PS, sorry the last chapter wasn't very funny, I was listening to "One Headlight" when I wrote it. This one should be fine though, 'cuz I'm listening to "The Differance" while I write it. I loooove The Wallflowers, 'cuz their music alternates between depressed and hyper, jus like me!  
  
-----  
  
CryingChild stood in her room doing her happy little dance. "Happy happy happy-dappy doo!" she sung, "CryingChild!" came a voice from downstairs, "Hurry up or you'll be late for skool!" "Okay!" she called, /Hey,/ she thought, /since when does my house have a downstairs? Oh well./ She couldn't help but wonder who was calling her. It had SOUNDED like her mom, but was it? Had her mom been sucked into Zimworld to, and if so, why was she not freaking out? Was it her mom's cartoon counterpart? If so, did SHE have a counterpart back in the 'real' world, posing as her? "You'd BETTER not touch my Skittles stash!" she screamed at the ceiling. She brushed her teeth and splashed some water on her face. "Ahhhh! It burns! It buuuuurns! Heh, heh, no, I just kid."  
  
She raced downstairs awkwardly, as she was unaccustomed to walking in the aformentioned cool boots. She pulled a chair up to the kitchen counter so she could reach the cabinet. Inside, there were two different boxes of cereal, "Count Coco Fang", and "Chunky Breakfast Chunks". After breif consideration, she poured herself a bowel (I mean bowl... hee hee) of Count Coco Fang. As she gulped down the sugarcoated sugar, she couldn't help but notice something felt a little... off. She raced to the full-length mirorr in the hallway, sure enough, she had gotten shorter. "Alriiiight," she said, "I was sick and tired of towering over five-year olds." Instead of looking three years younger than she was, she looked FIVE years younger. "Hey... er, mom?" she called. "Yes?" came a voice from offscreen, "What grade am I in?" CryingChild's 'mother' didn't comment on her question, since she knew she hadn't had her coffee yet. "Fifth grade dear, you start today."   
  
/Fifth grade??? DEAR??????/ CryingChild thought, /Gee, I wonder who's class I'll be in? Duhhhhhhhhhhhhh......../   
  
---  
  
/......uuuuuhhhhhhhh, hey, there's the skool!/ CryingChild happily skipped up to the place of DOOM. Suddenly, she stopped short. /Omygawd./ she thought, /Omygawdomygawdomygawd... it's... it's...HIM!/ She ran up to the confused-looking kid. "The Letter M!" she cried, pushing past a green kid and a big-headed kid with a cool coat. "Oh my gawd The Letter M, it's sooooo cool to meet you! I'm you're BIGGEST fan!" she cried, shaking a very confused The Letter M's hand vigorusly.   
  
After getting The Letter M's autograph, she skipped instictivly into the right classroom, where she was greeted... well, greeted isn't really the right word, given the evil eye would be more accurate, by her new 'teacher' Miss Bitters. The snake-teacher glared at her. "Oh yes, class, I forgot to mention, we have another future janitor in our classroom." she turned to the helpless CryingChild. "If you have questions, ask them now, because you may not question the almighty lesson plan in the future." CryingChild looked up. "Do you know a kid named Squee?" She asked. (A/N: For those of you who read Squee, is his teacher without-a-doubt Miss Bitters, or WHAT?) Miss Bitters didn't reply. "Take the empty seat, it's previous occupant was killed by a squirel. You should only hope to be so lucky."   
  
CryingChild sat down three seats behind Zim, resisting the incredible urge to glomp him as she passed. /This is so cool,/ she thought, /I wonder what would happen if I went to the scary monkey show website and looked at the seating chart, would I see myself?/ she glanced around the classroom to see Dib, staring at her as he stares at everyone, suspiciously. She couldn't help but grin, which seemed to unnerve him. /Insane or not, this is gonna be a goooood day./ She felt herself being lulled to sleep by Miss Bitters's teaching, which surprised her. Who would have thought she could be bored in Zimworld? /Oh well./ she thought. She got out a sketch book and began to draw. Suddenly the bell rang. "That's lunch," Miss Bitters said, "be back in half an hour, --or else." CryingChild looked around in shock, no one else seemed surprised. She looked at her watch, which read twelve. /But it was just eight!/ she thought, panicking, "I've lost four hours!" she screamed, standing on her desk. "I've lost four hours! Also my hat! Where's my hat?!?!?!?" (A/N: Fear referance! *pause* You mean you've never read Fear either? Geez!) she screamed, feeling the top of her head in terror. "Hats aren't allowed in skool, becuase they keep your head nice and warm." said Miss Bitters from her desk. "Oh." said CryingChild, noticibly relieved. She looked around, nobody had noticed her screaming, except Dib, of course. /So what happened to the four hours?/ she mused, /Of course! Cartoon time hiccup! In cartoons, they skip over the uneventful parts, neat!/ She picked up her sketchbook, which had gone flying as she had jumped in the air. It was filled with drawings of all the skoolchildren, as well as MANY of Zim. She smiled, returned it to her backpack, and headed for the cafeteria.  
  
She got her ketchup and rice, and looked around. In the real world, she would just find a table that was more-or-less unoccupied, and sit there, but here the two least-occupied tables held Zim, and Dib-and-Gaz, and she didn't want to choose sides just now. Sure, she just looooooved Zim, but she kinda liked Dib to. In fact, if he didn't hate Zim so much, she'd probably looooove him too, (but then if he didn't hate Zim so much he wouldn't be Dib, now would he?) She looked down at the far wall, where the rejects table was. /Bingo,/ she thought /was his name-o./ She sat down next to a kid who ran off screaming as she did. "You are my people!" she cried. "Hey," said a kid in front of her, "wanna see something really neat?" he began to untie his shoes.   
  
Fortunatly, at that moment, Dib walked up to her. /Ahhh,/ she thought, /conveinent face-saving escape from the fish-toes./ "Hey, new girl," he said, "CryingChild." she supplied. "You see that green kid over there?" she played dumb. "Where?" Dib sighed and pointed. "Ohhhhh, the kid with the cool backpack." she said, smiling. Dib frowned. "Um, yeah anyway, he's an aliiiiiiiien, and he's trying to take over the world. I've tried about a hundred times to expose him, but his house is guarded by these... evil... alien GNOME monsters! And no one ever listens to me, but..."  
  
~~~~~Now, at this point, something must be explained. You know how much fun it is to watch Dib rant on TV? Well, imagine that he's sitting about two inches from you, life-size, saying ALL those things that you laugh at when he says them on TV, what do you think is gonna happen? Yep, you'd laugh your little rump off DON'T TRY TO DENY IT! Heh heh, 'rump'~~~~~  
  
CryingChild could hold it in no more, she burst out in uncontrolable laughter. "Hey!" Dib said, sounding hurt, "It's not funny! You may laugh now, but you won't think it's so funny when we're all slaves to Zim! Stop laughing! Stop it! C'mon, cut it out!" She tried to stop long enough to say something, but if she could, then it wouldn't be uncontrolable laughter, now would it? Would it??? No. Dib stormed away angry. /Well,/ CryingChild thought as she got up about fifteen minutes later, /I guess I just choose sides./ She wiped the laughter-tears from her eyes.  
  
Due to another time-hiccup, she found herself back in Miss Bitters's classroom, as the last students were walking out. She looked out the window, it was raining. She grabbed her backpack and sped to the door, wondering if Zim was wearing paste. He wasn't. "Whatsa matter Zim?" she heard Dib taunt, "Is the big bad alien scared of a little RAIN?" "Nonsense," said Zim, uncertainly, "I simply... er... need to stay after skool to... do stuff." Dib snickered evily. CryingChild reached into her backpack and pulled out a two-inch long cylinder, that folded out into a large, dark-green umbrella. She held it out. "Oh GEE!" she yelled, "I sure hope no one TAKES this umbrella, WHICH KEEPS WATER OFF PEOPLE, out of my hand and RUNS AWAY with it, for I would SURELY not chase them, and they would stay NICE AND DRY!!!!!!!!!!" Zim looked at her for a moment, then grabbed the umbrella and ran off with it. Dib continued snickering for a few minutes, then noticed Zim was gone.   
  
"Hey," he said, turning to CryingChild, "What'd you do that for?" "Moi?" CryingChild said innocently, "I don't know WHAT you could POSSIBLY be referring to, as I was just standing on my innocent little feety-weetys, doing absolutely nothing that could possibly arouse suspicion." Dib looked at her... suspiciously (Gasp!) "Where are you from anyway?" he asked, making it sound like an accusation. She fell dramatically to her knees, "I'm from a faraway land, of magic and wonder!" She got up and did a happy little dance. Dib looked very confused, and still suspicious. "Why aren't you going home?" he asked, "Are you afraid to go out into the rain?? Huh?? Cause you're an alien?? Huh?? Is that it?? Huh?? HUH???" CryingChild looked at him angrily, "Just what are you implying?" she asked. Dib didn't answer, he just glared back at her. She stepped out into the rain, and headed home, Dib watched her for a moment, dissapointed. "Hey, genius," came Gaz's voice from behind him, "Let's go, it's your turn to water the plants." Dib turned to her. "But it's raining." he pointed out. Her eyes got big. "IT'S YOUR TURN TO WATER THE PLANTS." she said through gritted teeth.  
  
----   
  
Da end! Chapter three will have other fanfic authors et authoresses in it, if you wanna be one of them say so in your review, or I will be forced to pry open your skull and feast on the goo inside! (mmm, head goo).  
  
Also, I'm going to *coughsteal-golden-eyed-dragon's-ideacough* write a MST of a Zim fanfic in the near future. How this will affect my original fanfic lineup is undetermined as of yet!  
  



	3. Out on the town.

Disclaimer: Invader Zim as well as the thirty thousand Happy Noodle Boy quotes I intend to use in this chapter all belong to the limitless mind of Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
Warning: Dis fic contains Starbucks bashing. Even though I like their coffee, I must bash them... Jhonen would want it that way:c)  
-----  
  
"I'm WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" CryingChild screamed happily as she twirled, skipped and danced down the street. The rain had stopped, after thoughly soaking her, and she was feeeeeeeelin' good. "I'm gonna sing the wet song now!" (This was apparently based on the same pricipal as the doom song.) "Wet wet wet, wety-wety--- HEY!" she spun on one heel as something caught her eye. There, walking on the other side of the street was Jhonen the wonder boy himself! /Of course!/ she thought, /Jhonen's always putting himself into IZ episodes!/ "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Jhonen!" she called, "Yoo hoo! Jhonen! I obsess about you for hours, do you do the same for me?" Jhonen didn't respond, he didn't even seem to hear her. She began to chase after him, jumping on the hoods of some cars, and sliding under others, narrowly avoiding a road-pizza-y fate on may occasions. Mmmm, pizza.  
  
/If ANYONE can tell me how I got here, he can!/ she thought, /And even if he can't, It'd be pretty durn cool to meet him!/ she was only a few feet away from the god amoung men, when he turned a corner and dissapeired the way people can only do in cartoons. "AWWWWWWWWWPOOOPIE!" she screamed. "I make tourtered screams! Screamy noises! EEEEEEEEEEK!" she began to stomp her feet. "Oh why, why whywhywhywhywhyw- hey looka dat!" she said, breaking out of her frustrated rant, and turning to someone walking a few feet away. She was looking at a cyborg girl with green eyes dressed in the Irken attire, her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. /Hmmm,/ she thought, /I know I've never seen her before, not exactly. But something about her seems familar... hmmm, how many cyborgs do I know?/ she paused for about three hours, considering this. Then, an idea occured to her. "Hey Ztarlight!" she called. Her suspicions were confirmed as the aformentioned cyborg girl swirled her head around at the unexpected mentioning of her name.   
  
CryingChild rushed up to her, excitedly. "I kneeeeew it! You're Ztarlight! From FF.net!" she paused and looked at her suspiciously. "You ARE, aren't you? You're not Ztarlight's evil twin, seperated at birth, bent on destoying the world before Zim can?" CryingChild's eyes got big, and she whirled her arms around dramitcally, "But I think you're the REAL Ztarlight, and I befriend you and trust you, and then they find me with my brains sucked out and an evil clone version of me has become the president, built a rocket pack and caused all kinds of bad shit to happen to fufil an anchient prophesy??? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS??????" she screamed. "Nah." Ztarlight said cheerfully. "Oh, okay!" said CryingChild, switching back into happy mode. "Waiiiiit a minute," Ztarlight said, "I know you from somewhere... didn't you and I get attacked by a giant Mickey Mouse?" "Oh, well, maybe," CryingChild replied, "Fact is, I get attacked by so many giant Mickey Mouses, it's hard to keep track. But I loooove your fics!" "Tanky." said Ztarlight. "So wasta deal here? I mean, does God like SI? How come you an me an you are in Zimworld?" "I nunno," replied CryingChild, "Did you punch a TV too?"  
  
"Nah, I was just sitting at my computer typing up the next chapter of 'So We Meet Again' and I was kinda having a writer's block, and I got so frustrated, I started banging my head on the computer screen. Then I heard a crash, and the next thing I know, I'm in Zimworld! Cool huh?" "Very." said CryingChild, "Heeey, if the..." she counted on her fingers, "...two of us are in Zimworld, maybe there are more fanfic writerererers here somewhere!"   
  
The two of them began to search high and low for fanfic writers, looking inside discarded cans, under rocks and peices of paper, and inside mailboxes and baby carriges. "Look what I found!" cried Ztarlight, looking in a mailbox. Peeking out of the mailbox was a 13-year-old girl in a blue short sleved shirt with a giant 'Z?' in the front, glasses, and neat shoulder long brown hair with purple highlights. "Hiya!" she said. "Hi, what are you doing in a mailbox?" asked Ztarlight. "Oh just chillin'" replied the neat-haired girl. Ztarlight squinted at her, "Hmm, I think I know you too... is your name Invader Bast?" The neat-haired girl paused. "Well... I... ARG! YES! YES I AM! DAMN YOU AND YOUR MIGHTY WORDPROBE!!!" Ztarlight looked unphased. "Maybe you'd likey come out of the mailbox, yes?" she asked. "Yes, tank you" said Bast as Ztarlight helped her out, "ARGH! you've broken my secret elbow!" she suddeny screamed, clutching her head. "Holy pigshit Batman!" CryingChild cried upon hearing this, she then ran over to Bast. "Greetings fellow Noodle quoter! Do you not fear the awsome power of tile grout?" "Well, spank my ass and call me Debbie!" said Bast. The two maniacs began exchanging quotes back and forth.   
  
------After a few more minutes of utter foolishness  
  
-- mock me, you fried cyclops!" The two quoters paused, satisfied. "Riiiiiight," said Ztarlight, "so, any theories as to what's going on? Anyone?" There was silence. "Okay! That answers that! So where do we go from here? I mean are the two of you going to start going to skool too?" CryingChild stared at her as if she had lobsters coming out of her nose. "Whadaya mean, 'start going to skool?' I was in skool all day! I gave Zimmy an umbrella!" They turned to look at Bast. "Well, I made the mistake of eating some of the cafetera food, and spent half the day in critical condition, but TECHNICALLY I was in skool." Ztarlight looked even more confused. She turned to CryingChild "You gave Zimmy an umbrella? But I was obsessivly watching Zimmy all day, I didn't see any umbrella-giving! You lie, you lieeeee!" CryingChild gripped the sides of her head. "MY HEAD HURTS!" she cried. "What do this? This is, this is total vocabulary failure!" "So," said Bast, assesing the situation, "Not only were the three of us inexplicably zapped into Zimworld, but since we all went to skool WITHOUT encountering each other, we must each have our own personal little Zimworld in which to wreak havoc. Kewl."   
  
"Hmm, yes, yes it is cool." said Ztarlight contemplatively, "But then how come we can meet each other afterschool? It makes even less sense than everything else, and that says a LOT." CryingChild, who is good at drawing parallels, widened her eyes in realization. "No it doesn't! It's just like before, sorta. During the day, we'd all be at school, or work, or whatever, in wherever we lived, and we'd have no possible contact. But afterschool, we'd be able to interact through the POWER of FF.net! So..... that means that this is even more like SI than we thought! Hey, maybe we should buy trumpets!" "SI? Trumpets?" said Bast skepticaly, "Just WHAT are you high on? That CAN'T be right" "But I knooooooow it is!" said CryingChild desperately, waving her arms around wildly, "I can feeeeeel it in my brains as a profound realization!" she clutched the sides of her head. "Didn't you feel like that when you figured out the whole personal Zimworld thing? It's just uuuuuundisputable!" Ztarlight looked sad. "I wanna have a profound realization." Suddenly her eyes opened wide. "Britney Spears has deep-rooted phsycological problems." "Happy?" asked CryingChild. "Yes. Very."  
  
----------And so, as it was prophisied, the trio of fanfic writers went to buy ridiculuosly overpriced frozen coffee drinks at a Jhonenized version of Starbucks, which was, as you can imagine, was a place of unimaginable horror.  
  
CryingChild approached the cashier, whose name tag read, Justin-I-Work-In-A-Cafe-I'm-So-Cool-Shower-Me-With-Attention "What do YOU want?" JIWIACISCSMWA asked rudely. CryingChild blinked. "Um, we'd like three tall coffee Frappachinos please." (A/N: At Starbucks, they don't have 'small', 'medium' and 'large', but they have 'tall' 'grande' and 'venti' HOW pretentious can you get?) JIWIACISCSMWA glared at them. "So?" he asked. "Soooo... could you get them for us, maybe?" JIWIACISCSMWA continued to glare at them for a full minute. "Psht, whatever." he said, getting the cups filled with frosty caffine goodness. "That's $79.99." he said. "$79.99????" CryingChild cried, "I could buy 27 JTHM comics for that!" "Each." said JIWIACISCSMWA, unphased. Grumbling, CryingChild shelled out the $239.97. "It's a good thing cartoon characters never run out of money, just reach into your pocket, and there it is!"  
  
They found a table and sat down. Nearby, a pimpley guy inexplicably screamed, overturned his table, and jumped out the large plate-glass window in front. A few tables away sat a guy with so many peircings his face was impossible to make out. His shirt read "I have holes in my face, am I not cool?" Near the front two teenaged girls sat talking; "And like, then totally, y'know? Like and then like um, like!" They both burst out laughing. Ztarlight looked around. "Oooh, I gotta remember this place." she said. Invader Bast chuckled a little, "I wonder where he got that done." she remarked, indicating the peirced guy. CryingChild saw only the caffine fix that sat in front of her, which she was rapidly sucking down. Bast and Ztarlight stare at her, in awe of her dedication to hyperness. (A/N: Bwah ha ha!)   
  
They began to sip their drinks, glancing around at the madness. Two muscular guys fighting over which one of them could fight over stuff the best, a two-thousand year old man with a ponytail, talking on a cell phone, the retreating figure of Jhonen Vasquez through the window...  
  
"Gasp!" they gasped, "After him!" and they began chasing Jhonen like the super-obsessed fangirls they were.  
  
-------  
  
Okay, I kinda wrote myself into a corner, like, fifty times in this chapter, and I'm sure it shows. And I don't mind telling you it took a loooooot of willpower to resist putting in a Nny cameo. Next chapter I promise the following things:  
  
1. More Noodle quotes (several people scream 'no! for the love of gawd noooooo!') Um, okay, no more noodle quotes  
  
2. An encounter with Jhonen (ooooh, I can't wait to write that)  
  
3. The next day of skool, possibly with all three of us in the same class, possibly not, I'm not really sure.  
  
4. MAJOR meddling on all parties.  
  
Aaaaaand, since this chapter's a little light, I'm including a Zimmy Zim Doom Bonus Minific!!!! Yaaaaaaaay! It's just a little blurb that's been bouncing about in my head lately.  
  
----Behind the scenes of IZ! (yes, it's one of those):  
  
Room with a Moose:  
  
Zim: No.  
  
Jhonen: C'mon Zim.  
  
Zim: Uh-uh.  
  
Jhonen: It's not that bad.  
  
Zim: No way, uh uh, nothing you say or do could make me do that opening scene.  
  
Jhonen: I could draw you an inch taller in this episode.  
  
Zim: N- Two inches.  
  
Jhonen: Inch and a half.  
  
Zim: Done. (walks away laughing) Mwah ha ha, foolish human geinus! (A/N: You know I'd never be able to call the great Jhonen a 'stinkbeast'! *shudders* perish the thought!)  
  
Jhonen: (sighs) Okay, where's G.I.R.?  
  
(cut to G.I.R., being tended to by, like, twelve makeup artists, talking on cell phone.)  
  
G.I.R.: (on phone) ...yeah, I hear ya K-9, us robot dogs gotta stick together. So how much this time, 400? 500. Sure, I'll wire it to ya.  
  
(cut back to Jhonen)  
  
Intern: Hey, Mr. Vasquez, we've got a... situation in the parking lot.  
  
Jhonen: What now?  
  
Intern: The Dib fans and the Zim fans are fighting with each other.  
  
Jhonen: Again??? How bad is it?  
  
(Explosion is heard, studio shakes)  
  
Intern: Pretty bad.  
  
Jhonen: (sighs) Okay, give 'em another box.  
  
(cut to parking lot where mobs and mobs of fangirls and fanboys are. A stagehand throws a box of Dib-style trenchcoats to them from a balcony, Dib fans and Zim fans alike swarm over it.)(cut back to Jhonen)  
  
Jhonen: Man, sometimes I wonder why I didn't just stick to comics... (looks behind him to see floating head of Nailbunny) Oh yeah.  
  



	4. Back at Skool.

Me: I don't own anything! Jhonen does, you can ask him yourself!   
Jhonen: Can I go now?  
Me: No! Wait, yes.. wait no! You gotta be in this fic first!  
Jhonen: *sighs*  
---------------------  
"Gasp!" they gasped, "After him!" and they began chasing Jhonen like the super-obsessed fangirls they were.  
  
"JHONEN! WE LOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!" They screamed. Jhonen turned to see the three crazed fans running after him. He looked scared, but unsurprised, as he was quite used to this. He began running. He was very fast, what with his long legs and his years of practice. In fact, they probably would never have caught up to them if Invader ZaiFae hadn't dropped from the sky onto him. "OOOOW!" Jhonen said. "Ohhh, I'm so sorry, let me help you!" Invader ZaiFae said enthusiasticaly, helping him up, then glomping him. She was soon joined by the collective glomp of the other three fanfic writers. "Weeeeee looooveee yoooouuu Jhoneeeeeen!" They screamed all at once. Jhonen looked down at the four cartoons hugging him. After eyeing them critically for a moment, he spoke up. "Heeeey, I don't remember drawing you. What's going on?" The superfans released him. "You mean you don't know either? That shouldn't be." CryingChild said. "Oh well, I looooove you Jhonen!" she grinned scarily wide  
  
Jhonen raised an eyebrow. "Who exactly are you people? Why must strangeness follow me everywhere?" "Weeeeell," began Ztarlight, "basically we're HUGE fans of yours, who woke up here this morning, and.. um.. from there on your guess is as good as mine." Jhonen scratched his head. "Man," he said, "and it's not even midnight yet. Umm, you don't want me to draw you a sketch or anything, do you?" "Oh, nooo," said Bast, floating and surrounded by hearts a foot or so away, "Just BASKING in your greatness is enough, besides," she continued, returning to 'normal' "I guess I AM a sketch right now!" Jhonen relaxed a little. "Hmmm, well, if you don't know how you got here, what's the last thing you remember?" he asked.  
  
"Well," began Bast, "I was just reading a JTHM comic, then I fell asleep on it, and now I'm in Zimworld." "Yeah," added ZaiFae, "And I was just watching Invader Zim, and playing with highly unstable radioactive materials, and now I'm in Zimworld." Everyone turned and stared at the previously silent ZaiFae. CryingChild held out a finger accusingly. "Yooooou! Yoooou diiiiiid this to us!" She then walked over and shook her hand vigorusly. "Way to go!" she said, grinning. Jhonen raised an eyebrow. "Okaaay," said Ztarlight, "That explains that. SO, the next question is, how do we get out? NOT that I'm in any hurry to do so," she added hastily, turning to Jhonen, "but it's the kind of thing that you just GOTTA wonder about." "Ohhh," said CryingChild "I'm suuure we'll discover that in chapters ahead." "What?" asked Ztarlight, "What?" asked Bast, "What?" asked ZaiFae, "What?" asked Jhonen, "What?" asked CryingChild. They all stared at each other for a moment. "Weeeell," said ZaiFae, "Guess I'll see you all tomorrow!" They all walked off to their own little Zimrealities, except Jhonen who remained standing there for a moment. He sighed, "When does life start getting interesting?"  
  
--------Da next day!  
  
"Myyyyyy BA-lo-NEY has a first name, but he won't tell me what it is! Damn you bologna!" CryingChild sang on her way to skool. From behind her she heard someone shudder and mutter, "Bologna..." CryingChild whirled around, but there was no one there. "Saw you!" she cried. "No you didn't!" came Dib's voice from a bush. "Did too!" she said, parting the bushes. "Wow, I'm being stalked by Dib, this is SUCH a special moment, *sniff* I take picture!" She held up her fingers like a camera and pushed down on a noexistant 'button' "Click!" she cried happily. "I WASN'T stalking you!" Dib said defensively, "I was just waiting for Zim to walk by." "Awwww," said CryingChild, "Oh well, this is still a special moment, for reasons unknown! Yaaay!"   
  
Dib pulled the branches out of his hair and stared at her. "Y'know," he said, "you act pretty wierd, and I still don't know where you're from." "You think I'm weird?" replied CryingChild, "Well, thank you, but I can't take all the credit, society maaaaade me this way!" She leaned in, causing Dib to back away a little. "Um, yeah..." Dib replied, "Well, you better just watch your step from now on, 'cuz I'm watching you! And if I find out something... not very normal, about you then... watch your step!" Dib finished, and ran off, though exactly where he was headed was uncertian. /Wow, Dib's out to get me,/ CryingChild thought, /This is the happiest day of my life!/  
  
--------At skool...  
  
"... and due to the earth's gravitational pull, every object hurled into the air must return to the ground with a sickening splat, just as every dream and asperation you hold dear will ultimitly fail. And so you are all doomed to a monotonus existance to end with a forced retirment. Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed....." CryingChild was surprised to find herself in Miss. Bitters's class once again. She would have to get used to these time hiccups eventually, but for now she felt disorented. She looked at her trusty digital wristwatch, it read 10:17. She glanced at Dib, who was alternatley staring at her and Zim. /Wow, I feel special./ she thought. She turned to Zim, who was idly tapping his pencil in an act of hopless boredom. /Well,/ she thought, /since I already have Dib hating me, I may as well complete the pattern./ She ripped a sheet of paper out of her notebook.  
  
Zim,  
Meet me at the rejects table at lunch  
-CryingChild (three seats behind you)  
  
She read it over. /A little concise, isn't it?/ An idea ocured to her, she added to the bottom some Irkin writing she had copyed off Nick's website. /THAT oughta get his attention!/ she thought. She tapped Mathew P. Mathers III on the shoulder, (A/N: note to less-obsessed fans, Mathew P. Mathers III is the screamy kid.) He turned, startled and eeked softly. "It's oookay," CryingChild said softly, as if talking to a dog, "It's juuust a note, okay? I'm going to give it to you... no, no, it's fine, it dosen't hurt, I'm going to give it to you, and you just hand it to Zita, okay?" Hesitently, Mathew P. Mathers III took the note, and passed it up to Zita, who then passed it to Zim. Zim stared at the note in her hand, clueless as to what to do with it. Zita eventually shoved it in his face. Zim shoved her in retaliation, and opened the note. He read it and his eyes bulged a little. He looked back at CryingChild, who waved at him happily.   
  
-------  
  
Another time hiccup, and she was at the rejects table with Zim walking over to her. He did not look happy. "Who are you," he asked, "And what possesed you to write 'Red gobbles donkey goober' on this 'note'?" CryingChild managed to supress the giggles. "Weeeell, frankly, I think he's a little full of himself, but that's not the point. The point is I know you wanna take over the earth, and I just wanna say that I'm cool with that!" Zim's eyes bugged out. "I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about." he said, with every ounce of dignity he could muster, "I am a perfectly normal human worm baby. Perfectly normal humans have no desire to conquer the Earth and" at this he raised a threataning fist at a passerby, "enslave all humanity!" He smiled, pleased at his own quick thinking. "Ha!" said CryingChild, "I didn't say ANYTHING about enslaveing humanity! Trickdja! Trickdja! Trickdja!" She did a little dance. "But I'm seriously, 100% okay with it, I mean, as Calvin put it, 'it's not like the adults are doing such a bang-up job' and be-SIDES, at least things would be a little more interesting that way!" Zim raised a nonexistent eyebrow. He didn't think he could trust her, but she WAS pretty short, what threat could she pose?   
  
"And, why are you telling me this?" CryingChild paused in her happy dance "Hmm? Oh, well no reason really I suppose, I figure it's just best to get these things out in the open. Annnnd, y'know, if you ever need a hand or anything, jus' ask!" She grinned "Ha!" Zim replied, "The idea of a superior being asking a creature so lowly as you for assitance is laughable!" he then began an unnecisarly long laugh. CryingChild stared a minute, then started laughing with him, and their laughter continued for about twenty minutes.   
  
From across the cafetiria, Dib was watching them. "I don't like this at all, they're up to something... not... good, and stuff, and now there's two of 'em! How much can a kid my age take?"  
  
-------  
  
TA DA! I have a painfull head cold that is keeping me perpetually awake, (Z?) and so I'm writing alllllll night loooong! Yaaaaay! Next chapter will show this day in the lives of the other fanficers.  
  



	5. Meanwhile...

Meanwhile, in the other fanficer's Zimrealities, (I love making up words!)....  
  
---  
Invader Bast sat in front of a cartoonish computer. "Wow," she said, "I would have bet ANYTHING I wouldn't be able to access Zim sites WHILE in Zimworld! But everything's here! 'IZOA', 'Scary Monkey Show', 'Bow to me Meatbag!'" She paused in contemplation. "I wonder if there's an Irk.com!" She typed in the adress. A black screen with the word "IRK" flashing in red over and over again appeared. There were no links, or text, or anything else. "Weird." She muttered. (A/N: There really IS a site like that! Try it! I don't know what it's for... maybe Zim's trying to brainwash us with it! Neat-o!) She shut off the computer, slung her backpack over her shoulder, and headed for skool.   
  
On the way, she saw the MADNESS chihuaha. "Hey dog entity!" she yelled at it, "Rise up and bare your biscut-filthy fangs at the opressive leash-wielding deamon!" The chihuaha, inexplicably, did as it was told and attacked the nearest person out walking a dog. "That was... memorable..." Bast said, continuing on.  
  
Upon reaching the omnious brick building, she made a beeline for the stairs. She then waited there for Zim to approach her. When he did, she stood in the doorway,blocking off the enterance. Zim glared at her. "Out of the way girl-beast, as a perfectly normal human I am eager to begin this day of human education." Bast obliged, with a low, melodramatic bow that made Zim smile.   
  
They both went inside and sat down, Bast next to Zim. She pulled a laptop out of her backpack, and typed fanfiction.net in the adress bar. A time hiccup found her on the playground, sitting on a bench under a tree. Zim and Dib were both nearby. /Sweeeeeet.../ Bast thought, /I'm gonna write the first ever fan-non-fiction!/ She began to type:  
  
Zim and Dib were sitting in the skool playground glaring at each other.... Zim coughed.... Dib picked his nose. Dib told Gaz he was just scratching it... Gaz played her Gameslave.... Zim looked at a tree....  
  
/Hmmm,/ Bast thought, /this isn't quite the thrilling epic I had hoped for. Maybe it's time to spice things up a little.../  
  
--------------Meanwhile...  
  
Zim groaned as he approached his base. It had been a painfully long day at skool, and all he wanted to do was--- "AAAA!" he screamed, for a human, (or at least, he thought she was human, she looked kinda robotic,) had penetrated the security of his base! She was sitting on the couch, next to Gir, who was staring at the television and drooling. "Dear sweet Tallest!" Zim cried, "What do you think you are doing???" The girl stared at him, her face was scrunched up all weird, like she was holding in laughter, what did she think was so funny? "Wellll," she began, "I... um... needed some directions... yeah, that sounds good, ... I needed some directions so I rung the doorbell and G- uh, Greeeeeen doggy here answered it. He asked me if I wanted to come in and watch the Scary Monkey Show, and I said yes. Why?"  
  
Zim gaped at her. "Oh, um, no reason, as a perfectly normal human worm baby, I am delighted to have other perfectly normal humans at my house. Now leave!" The girl burst out in hysterical laughter and fell off the couch. Gir joined her. After composing herself, she gestured to the television set. "Um... reeeeeally funny part. My name's Ztarlight, by the way, I'm a cyborg, so I'm not quite human, and I'm nowhere NEAR perfectly normal. So I guess there's no reason for me to leave." She grinned and shook Zim's hand vigorusly.  
  
Zim pulled his hand away and raised an eyebrow at her. If he told her to leave now, she might become suspicious he was hiding something. But if he permitted her to stay, she might stumble on to his secret. He paused, weighing the dangers of each situation. "Hmmm... tell me human... cyborg... thing, are you by any chance," he shuddered, "aquainted with a human named Dib?" Ztarlight spoke immediately, as if she had prepared her words in advance. "You mean that utterly crazy, insane, nutty, looney guy who I wouldn't believe even if I found irrifutable proof that he's right? Yeah, why?" Zim stared at her. "No reason..." he said. He looked at her criticaly. "I suppose you can stay... but don't touch anything!" Ztarlight grinned, and Zim, without wanting to, grinned back.  
  
-----Meanwhile...  
  
Invader Zaifae approached the steps of the skool and paused as she saw a familar face. Of course, she had expected to see sevral familar faces today, but this face was a different kind of familar. for example, although she recognized it, she had never seen it before yesterday. Judging by the expression this face wore, it was clear she was also recognized by it. "Zaifae?" CryingChild said, "What in the wide wide world of sports are you doing in my Zimreality?" "Well, the way I see it," Zaifae said, "SOMEONE was just to lazy to think of four individual plots." "Ah," said CryingChild sheepishly. "Well, I won't argue that... so, do we have a battle to the death over Zim now or later?" "You can have him" Said ZaiFae, "I'm after Dib." Hearts appered in Zaifae's eyes. (A/N: I'm basing this on your fics, so please do not gouge my eyes out if I am wrong.) CryingChild raised an eyebrow. "How can someone with a name like 'INVADER Zaifae' be a Dib-lover? It no makey the sense!" Zaifae shrugged.   
  
"Well," said CryingChild, "at least we won't be fighting over Zim this way." "No," said Zaifae wisely, "But we may end up just plain fighting." "Oh, I don't know" CryingChild said, "Just because we loooove worst enimies doesn't nesiccarily make us worst enimies... YOU STINKING EVIL DIB FAN!--- sorry, sorry, got carried away." "I hear ya," Said Zaifae, "Who's to say how this story will play out, YOU MISRABLE ALIEN-LOVING SCUM!" They glared at each other for a moment, the burst out into hysterical, insane laughter that continued until the skool bell rang.  
  
----  
  
I won't continue unless I get at least five reviews with the phrase "Squiggles the happy penguin likes to surf in Japan!" BWAH HA HA! I'm so evil!  
  



	6. Tall guys and Unconciousness-- Bast's da...

CryingChild: Ooookay, If Squiggles the happy penguin likes to surf in Japan, I guess I have no choice but to continue this.  
  
Squiggles: That's right!  
  
CryingChild: ...  
  
This chapter will show you Invader Bast's day, the next one will show Ztarlight's day, then Zaifae&my day, then an epilouge.   
  
-----------------  
  
/Hmmm,/ Bast thought, /this isn't quite the thrilling epic I had hoped for. Maybe it's time to spice things up a little... now, what should I do?/ She considered her options, there was lots she could do to mess with them. She could throw something at Dib, she could scream 'Zim's an alien!' she could... suddenly, a whole world of options opened up to her. If she wanted, she could make Zim or Dib win, she could fix GIR and make him smarter, she could contact the Tallest and... FOOK! She could contact the Tallest! Anyone watching Invader Bast at that moment would have noticed a very very scary grin spreading over her face just then. Forgetting about Zim and Dib, she raced over to Zim's house.   
  
Zim's base is very heavily guarded. Between the lawn gnomes and the giant lazers that seem to pop out of nowhere, a person could sneak around it for days and not get in. Fortunatly, as every IZ fan knows, there is one sure way to infiltrate it. Bast walked up to the front step and rang the doorbell. The door was answered by a black and green ball of cuteness.   
  
"Hi G-" Bast began, but was cut off as GIR slammed the door in her face. She sighed, and reached into her pocket, pulling out a sucker that had been in there for who knows how long. She rang the doorbell again, and handed the sucker to GIR. GIR looked up at her, tears pouring out of his eyes. "T-thank you..." he said grabbing the sucker, "I loooove you!" "Awwww, I love you to," Bast said, "I won't forget you! I do mighty kung fu kick for you!" she then skipped merrily off to the kitchen and flushed herself down the toilet.  
  
Once in Zim's lab, she instictivly went to the computer console used for transmissions to the Tallests. This was VERY impressive, since there are thousands and thousands of computer consoles in Zim's lab, and they all look about the same. She couldn't read Irken, so she pressed random buttons for twenty minutes.  
  
-----Meanwhile, on The Massive----  
  
"Incoming transmission from Earth"  
"Tell him we're in the middle of a very important battle and can't be disturbed!"  
"Yes, sir!"  
Purple's brow furrowed in concentration. This was the moment of truth, there could be no mistake now. Then it came... oh mother of Irk it was headed right for him. he twisted and turned, but it was all futile. He groaned in his defeat. "That's the FIFTH time I've beaten you in ping-pong!" Red said triumphantly. Purple muttered something about smoke machines under his breath. "Well, do you suppose we should see what Zim wants?" Purple asked. "I suppose so." Red replied reluctantly. Then he seemed to cheer up. "Or we could get some curly fries." "Cuuuuurly fires" Purple said, then snapped out of it. "No, we'd better answer it, or he'll be calling us every two seconds, wondering what's going on." They walked over to the transmitter screen.  
  
-----Zim's lab----  
  
Bast stared eagerly at the 'Please Stand By' message on the screen. Suddenly, the red Irken logo was replaced by the twin figures of... the Tallest! Bast's eyes widedned, threatening to take up her entire face. "What is it now Z-...." Red trailed off. They stared at her. She stared at them. And then...  
  
"SQUEE! Ohmytallest it's... YOU! I looooooove you! I am your loyal servant!" Red and Purple exchanged a glance. "Who... exactly, are you?" Red asked. "I am your biggest fan! My room is wallpapered in pictures of you! I.. homina... HAPPINESS OVERLOAD!" Bast fainted. Red and Purple exchanged another glance. "Did that scare you too?" Purple asked. Red nodded, and cut the feed.  
  
Bast awoke about half an hour later. Coincidently, at that exact moment, Zim returned home and walked into his lab. Bast's eyes grew wide. Zim's eyes grew wider. Bast felt more than a little uneasy. Although she was really happy to meet Zim, she had kinda hoped to see him without that murderous glint in his eyes. Thinking quickly, she stood there staring at him. Zim's eyes narrowed "Who are you, and what are you doing here? GIR! Capture the intruder!" GIR obediantly ran into a wall.  
  
Bast's mind raced. She didn't want to try and force her way out, nor was she even sure she could, but Zim didn't seem open to a friendly chat at the moment. An idea occured to her, and her hands flew to her face. "AAAAA!" she screamed, "I'M BLIND! I'M BLIIIIIIIIIND!!!!! -I also forgot eveything I saw up to this point- AAAAAAA!" To add weight to her words, she began running around screaming, and crashing into sevral things. She still had her eyes covered, and she consequently ran into a wall, and was unconcious once more.  
  
When she woke up, she was on the sidewalk outside of Zim's house. "It worked!" she said, "My scheme is compleate, soon all the children of the world will be dipped in fung-lum sweet and sour sauce!" As she walked home, sevral people turned to stare at her. "They shall be sweet AND sour!"  
  
---------  
  
CryingChild: This is going a little slowly, so the next chappie might not be up for a while. Oh well, Squiggles will do a jig for you while you wait.  
  
Squiggles: But I have no legs!  
  
CryingChild: Silence! Now dance, penguin-boy!!! 


	7. Laughter and Leprucans-- Ztar's day.

CryingChild: AlrightySitey! I got some spare time, and some soy rolls, so I'll do the next chapter now. Yes I said soy rolls, what? Stop staring at me like that! Stop it!! Mom, the people from ff.net are staring at me again!  
  
CryingChild's Mom: What's ff.net?  
  
CryingChild: Um... nothing. (My parents don't know about my ff.net account... long story. Actually, it's just because I don't want them finding out about my JtHM comics, they'd make me throw them out!!! Noooooo! (If you haven't guessed by now, soy rolls have a LOT of sugar in them!!! And, as you can tell by the layout of the Author's notes, I've been reading too many of The Slayer's fics, they are all good I command you all to read them now!!!! Why are you not reading them now??? Do not dare defy my whims!!!!))Also read Ztarlight's fics, for this is her chapter and they are also veddy veddy good!  
  
RIR: You're just saying that 'cuz she wrote that Chanukka fic, aren't you?  
  
CryingChild: Well... partly ^_^ But dey is still goooood.:c)  
  
-------------  
  
Ztarlight (or Ztar) looked around the room with awe. Zim had already retreated to his 'normal human basement' to do 'perfectly normal not at all doom-related things' and she was taking in every tiny detail of her surroundings. The tiny SIR unit sat ignored, enraptured by the almost motionless monkey that filled the screen. To be sure, Ztar loved GIR at least as much as the next IZ fan, but she had basked in his hyper glow all afternoon, and now that Zim was home... she shuddered with happiness.   
  
She paced around the room, restlessly, pausing at specific objects. There, there was the couch Zim had watched the movie from 'Germs' on. And there was the empty bookcase that Zim crashed into in 'Rise of the Zitboy'. And *there*, in the kitchen was the toilet that led into Zim's lab. Ztar rested her elbows on the toilet's rim, and looked down into it. She *could* go down. She could flush herself down into Zim's lab, while he was in it, revealing to him that she knew he was an alien, *without* him knowing that she ment him no harm. She could also bang herself in the head with rocks. No, for the time being, she'd play dumb. It was so much more fun that way anyway. He was just so *kyute* when he tried to blend in! As she was about to turn around, she heard Zim's voice behind her.   
  
"What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously. /Oh, okay,/ she thought, /C'mon Ztar, think of something, say anything./ "Checking for leeches." she said. /Well, that *would* fall under 'anything', I suppose./ "Ah yes," Zim said, "I am well aware of this 'leeches', I have had a great deal of experiance with it. Oh, the leeches stories I could tell you, my oh my." He then threw back his head and laughed. Ztar laughed with him. Zim paused, and cleared his throat. "Yes, well, I now have to leave and do very human things that have nothing at all to do with world conquest. So you have to leave." "Okay..." Ztar said, dejectedly, then her eyes lit up. "I have to do very human things too, I'll come with you!" Zim looked around nervously. "Well, erm, I'm taking a different route than you are." "What route are you taking?" Ztar persited. "A different one than yours." said Zim. "Perfect!" said Ztar, "That's the same one I'm taking!"  
  
-----Later, several blocks away-----  
  
"I told you, no!" Zim shouted. His head was turned to face Ztar, and he didn't see the kid in front of him, and the two collided. Which was a shame because, naturally, the person he collided with was... "Dib." Zim spat. "Zim." Dib replied with equal malice in his voice. Then he noticed the strange girl behind him, who was grinning madly. "Another 'bestest friend' Zim?" he asked, condesendingly. He turned to the grinning girl, whose face was now reddning with supressed laughter. "Don't trust him!" he said, "He'll take out your eyes and make squirrels attack you!" This threw Ztar into a coughing fit. She doubled over, half choking on her own laughter. Dib frowned "Why does everyone do that when I talk to them?" he asked of no one. As Ztar struggled to compose herself, Zim glared at Dib. "What busness is it of *yours* who she is, *Dib*?" he asked. "It just so happens that.. um..." "Ztarlight." Ztar whispered in his ea- into the side of his head. "That Ztarlight here is.. um..." "Your cousin." Ztar whispered. "My cousin. WHAT???" Zim cried. "WHAT???" Dib cried. "What?" Ztar asked, innocently.  
  
"Look I don't know what he told you" Dib said, glaring at Zim, "But don't listen to him! He's an aliiiiien! I mean, he's *green* for crying out loud!!" "I know." Ztar said calmly. Dib and Zim both gaped at her. "What??" They exclaimed at once, then glared at each other as they relized they had said something in unison. "Sure," Ztar continued, "He's an alien, I'm a leprucan, and he's-" she pointed to someone walking by, "-the Creature from the Black Lagoon." Dib glared at her. Zim, who had never heard sarcasam before (A/N: Hi Irken Insane!!!) ran in terror from the 'Creature'. Ztar frowned at Zim's retreating figure, then turned to Dib. "Look what you did!" she said angrily. "Me?!?" Dib cried. Ztar turned and stormed off. Dib stared at the spot she had just occupied. "Maybe I just don't understand girls." He said.  
  
------A few MORE blocks away-----  
  
Zim leaned against a building, panting. "Those... leprucans.. won't... get... me" he gasped. He turned and saw Ztar approaching him. (A/N: He was running a mile a minute, she was walking at a comfertable pace, and I'm so insecure I feel the need to point out my own plotholes:c) "Stay away from me, Earth monster!" he cried. Ztar giggled a little. "I was only being sarcastic." she said, "SURELY as a normal human worm baby you knew that and you were only joking." Zim blinked, "Oh, yes, I knew it all along. Hee hee, it was only a" he raised his hands and made finger quotations with them. " 'joke' a normal human joke, I am quite familar with this... 'sarcasam' But just for fun, tell me what it is again?" Ztar snickered, then grinned. "Sure, I'll tell you what it means for fun. In fact, there's lots of stuff I can tell you for fun." Zim grinned, and threw his head back in manical laughter. Ztar joined in, her laughter lasting long after Zim's had ended. /This strange hu-...cyborg may prove useful,/ he thought, /I'll have to keep her around for a while.../ And as if reading his mind, Ztar grinned wider than she ever had before.  
  
-----  
  
Yay! Incedently, I've updated 'Don't Time Travel With A Pacemaker.' Next up, 'Nick is Just Begging to Face the Moose!' 


	8. Allies and Cheetos-- ZaiFae and CryingCh...

Scary Storyteller Lady: EVERYBODY BE QUIET!! SHUT UP!!!! Now, I have a little explanation to give, ahem, *opens book* Once upon a time there was a little girl named CryingChild, who sat happily writing fanfiction, unaware that a booby trap of homework and tests was hanging over her head. Her evil teachers buried her in massive assignments, taking all of her Zim time away. But now she has been saved, by the high god WINTER BREAK! And she will continue to grace fanfiction.net with her deragned ramblings. The End. NOW READ THE CHAPTER!!!  
  
--------  
  
The dark, sullen figure of Gaz sat hunched, unsurprisingly, over her Gameslave, while her brother sat next to her, glaring across the kafiteria at Zim, who no longer sat alone, as a small blonde figure now ate with him. There was only one more person who needed to be added to the mix...  
  
"Whoo! Yeah! Go ZaiFae!" CryingChild yelled. The figure which had previously been headed towards Dib turned and drew her hand rapidly across her throat, in the universal 'Shut it!' gesture. Invader ZaiFae then closed the distance between her and Dib. "Hi!" she said casually, then leaned in conspiratorily. "Don't tell anyone," she whispered, "But I think that green kid over there -you know, the one running in fear from his mashed potatoes- is an alien." Dib's face twisted into a look of surprise, and ZaiFae feigned dissapointment. "You don't believe me do you?" She said sadly. "This is just like it was back in wherever I'm from! Everyone calling me crazy and picking apart my theories!" She turned away so that Dib wouldn't see the smile creeping up her face.  
  
----That Day, After Skool ------  
  
"...And then we talked about the migratory patterns of the North American Wererabbit for twenty minutes straight! And I was just making stuff up, but he pretended to understand anyway! It was so cool!" ZaiFae finished. She and CryingChild were walking home, discussing the day's events. Neither of them was quite sure where they lived, but that was okay, because they knew they would time-hiccup to their seperate destinations eventually. "So," she continued, "How was YOUR day?" CryingChild smiled dreamily. "Today Zim called me a filth-encrusted stench bag." she said blissfully. "Sounds like love." ZaiFae replied, raising an eyebrow.  
  
They continued on their merry way, unaware of the two that were watching them.   
  
Dib and Zim were in the middle of their daily after-skool deathglare when Dib noticed CryingChild and ZaiFae walking together. "I knew it!" he cried, "No human knows that much about Wererabbit breeding!" Zim turned in the direction of his foe's stare. "What is *my* human doing talking to that... friend-of-Dib?" He muttered. Dib ran off screaming about conspiracies, and that THIS was why he could never get a girlfriend, because they always ended up being poised on world domination. Meanwhile, Zim began cursing everyone in the immideate vicinity, until he was frightened off by a chihauha.  
  
-----The next day, on the way to skool---  
  
"I just don't understand Irken girls who like Dib!" CryingChild declared, "I mean, wouldn't you *rather* be with one of your species?" "You know what *I* don't understand?" ZaiFae countered, "Human girls who like Zim. I mean, wouldn't you *rather* be with one of your species?" CryingChild grinned sheepishly. "Okay, point made, comment withdrawn." She said. ZaiFae grinned triumphantly, but her grin faded as she noticed a familar figure on the horizon. "Zim." she said distastefully, then turned to CryingChild. "I'll see you later." she said, walking off. CryingChild waved goodbye by making several animal sounds, then eagerly skipped ahead to catch up with the waiting Invader.   
  
She wasn't at all detered by his angry expression, after all, it was rare that he had any other. She reached him, grinning painfully wide. Zim glared at her and shouted. "Alright, out with it human! What is your connection with *Dib*? Don't try to hide it from me!" CryingChild gaped at him. "Is this about that black trenchcoat I bought? I swear, it has nothing to do with him, I just think it looks cool!" "Don't play dumb with me!" Zim shot back. CryingChild looked distraught, "I swear!" she pleaded, "I'm not playing! I really AM dumb! What are you talking about??"  
  
-----Meanwhile----  
  
ZaiFae sighed contentedly as she strode between the casualties of the playground and those frantically trying to scale the barbed wire fence, up the steps to the skool, and smiled as she recognized Dib waiting for her by the door. Her smile faltered as she noticed he was looking at her in the hateful manner he usually reserved for Zim. (A/N: Insert painful never-ending writer's block *here*... then move on.) "What's up Dibby?" She asked cheerfully. Dib pointed at her accusingly, "I just want you to know I'm *on* to your little tricks ZaiFae! And you'll never, EVER win, you hear me! Not even if you win! Wait... I mean, um... just stay away from me!" "What are you talking about??" ZaiFae asked, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, there was no WAY he could have seen through her disguise! Then again, he really *was* brillant... and paranoid.. and *so* cute in that trenchcoat... She snapped herself out of her fangirl stupor. "Dibby, what's wrong with you?" she cried.  
  
-------CryingChild/Zim-------  
  
"I know you're working for the Dib-human! I saw you talking with one of his filthy minions! Tell me what you know!" Zim loomed over CryingChild on his mechanical legs. CryingChild tried *hard* not to fall into a fangirl stupor at the sight, this was serious! Filthy minions? Zim could only be reffering to one person, after all, it wasn't as if Dib had half the skool behind him. She looked innocently up at Zim, "Zimmy," she implored, "ZaiFae isn't-"  
  
---------ZaiFae/Dib----------  
  
"On your side Dib! I swear!" ZaiFae all but sobbed. Dib looked at her skeptically. "Then what were you doing with that... strange... thing, huh??? She's practically ready to hand over humanity to Zim, I wouldn't be surprised if SHE was an alien too!" ZaiFae's mind raced, how could she convince Dib she wanted to help him save the world? If he had actually *seen* her talking to- Suddenly insparation struck. "Dib," she said *almost* condescendingly, but somehow still adoringly, "You didn't see me talking to *Zim* did you?" "Huh?" Dib said, still mid-rant, "You've been talking to Zim *too*?? I knew it!"  
"No, no!" ZaiFae hastened, "My point is I *haven't* been talking to Zim! That girl I was talking to is-"  
  
-------CryingChild/Zim-------  
  
"...A double agent! She's helping me gather, um, crucial information about Dib, and his-"  
  
---------ZaiFae/Dib----------  
  
"...Weaknesses! With her help we can find out what Zim is vunerable and stop him from-"  
  
-------CryingChild/Zim-------  
  
"...Rule the world! Neat huh?" CryingChild said, punctuating her sentance with nervous laugher. Zim lowered himself to the ground. Good... not wanting to kill me is goooood... CryingChild thought. "A double agent..." Zim mused, "Then tell me Earth-stink..."  
  
---------ZaiFae/Dib----------  
  
"...What has she found out so far?" Dib asked, ever-suspicious. ZaiFae chewed her lower lip. "Ummm.. He eats a lot of Cheetos?"  
  
-------CryingChild/Zim-------  
  
Zim stared at her blankly. "What is this... Chee-toes?" he asked. CryingChild held in the chuckle of the century, and walked towards, then into, the skool. Zim followed. As she filled him in on the basics of the snack, they breifly passed Dib, who was too busy talking to ZaiFae to aknowledge them. "I didn't say she was a *good* double agent!" ZaiFae said defensively. Dib frowned. "Feh, Cheetos," he said, "Some secret weakness! Although... maybe there's a chemical in them that has an addictive quality... like caffine or nicotine is to humans..." ZaiFae sighed contentedly as they walked in, Dib conjoring various plans involving Cheetos, and Zaifae smiling and nodding encouragingly. All was right with the world.  
  
-------On the way home from skool------  
  
"And *he* thought you were an alien!" ZaiFae laughed "He probably still does!" CryingChild doubled over in joyful giggles. "I thought you'd like that." ZaiFae said, "So does Zim have a clue about me?" "Not an inkling," CryingChild replied. ZaiFae tsked. "Can't even recognize one of his own species... clueless." "But soooo cute..." CryingChild said dreamily. ZaiFae rolled her eyes.  
  
----Sevral feet away-----  
  
Zim and Dib looked at the retreating pair, each with a secretive smile on thier respective faces. They glared smugly at each other, then turned and walked towards their houses. "Heheheh, moron." They silmultaniously muttered quietly.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
MAN do I ever love writing that... thing where two people are talking, and you cut back and forth, and they finish each other's sentances without realizing it! (I hope I don't overdo it =) I love it so much!!!! Pretty phreaky coincidence though huh? I like Cheetos.  
  
DON'T GO AWAY!!! There will be an epilouge soon! I already have a pretty good idea of what it's gonna say, and it's cool, so DON'T LEAVE! K? 


	9. Epilouge

We're all still here.  
  
There are a few things we miss about our old life, like sleeping. Here, you just time-hiccup to the next day. And, as silly as it sounds, we all miss watching Invader Zim. But really, we're generally very happy.  
  
Bast has contacted the Tallest several times more, much to Zim's dismay. Zaifae and I have mantianed a friendship of sorts despite our rivaling idols. And Ztar and Zim are growing ever closer. Ztar's hoping it will develop into something more, but she isn't holding her breath. I know all of my attempts to become more than 'just allies' with Zim have failed.  
  
And that brings me to something else. After the initial thrill of being around our favorite characters wore off, we decided to wreck some havoc. But all our attempts, wheater to pair up our favorite couples, -mine being Jessica and Dirge- (A/N: For all you less-obssesives out there, Dirge is the horrible fish boy, and Jessica is the popular girl from 'Bestest Friends'.) shut down the skool, or get jobs at MacMeaty's then blow it up, -you don't wanna know who came up with that one- have failled. We can't make any changes that would sevearly affect the storyline. Or, any changes we do make are erased the next day. It really is like living in a cartoon. We all agree that this is very cool.  
  
But something's been troubling me lately...  
  
I don't know if the others have thought of it too, they do seem to be a little quiet lately, but that might just be my outlook on them talking. You see, we've never done the same things over again, which means we've never lived in a rerun. And, although IZ is a fairly new and extremely promising show, *every* show, no matter how good, gets cancled eventually.   
  
And when it does, what will happen to us? 


End file.
